SEX, LOVE & RELATIONSHIPS:
Interview and photos by Shelby Sells
Following his European tour with Mykki Blanco and Boy Child, Devin Kyle Cuthbertson AKA Psycho Egyptian found himself in LA for a few weeks. And knowing full well that the artist and rapper is a completely open book – with no filter – we had him meet Echo Park's X-rated Shelby Sells to answer some intimate, personal questions on sex, love, and relationships:
How old are you? What do you do?
I'm 29. I'm an artist, rapper, painter, man of many trades, I guess.
Are you currently in a relationship?
Yes, I am in a relationship with a girl whose name is Robin.
How long have you guys been seeing each other?
Like a year and a half now?
How did you guys meet?
We met before we started dating. We had a previous fling. I got at her on Facebook. I was just coming out of this really intense relationship; it was a really weird time. So we had this one night stand kind of thing, and it was weird, and then I saw her a few years later at this art event. She was looking really sexy. She’s this cute punk girl. I saw her outside of The Hole one day, and I was turned. She was standing with her sister, and I was trying to get at her, and I was asking for her number…I guess I was so drunk I couldn’t type in her name right on my phone, and she told me later that her sister thought I was legitimately retarded. So, it pretty much started from there, and we started seeing each other, and this was like two summers ago. We’ve been through some shit.
As every strong relationship has…would you care to elaborate?
I’m a sucker for intensity. I need things to be passionate all the time. It gets me in a lot of trouble, because sometimes shit just can’t always be crazy. I mean shit wasn’t crazy with me and Robin, but in other situations.
What are your thoughts on dating apps, Web sites, etc. these days?
I mean I just recently got an iPhone. I didn’t have a phone for years. I just got put on to OkCupid. I met Robin on Facebook, and we went on a blind date or whatever. In New York, I just see people. I guess that’s just how I am with people. I see them on the streets or at parties.
How is dating in New York City versus LA?
It’s way harder to meet girls in LA. Or, I mean, maybe I’m wrong…It’s just not the way I’m used to meeting girls. You don’t just see girls out like that. I came here with my friend, who is a model from New York, and he was telling me about how he invited this girl to a party who he had met on OkCupid. And I was surprised he fucked with that site. But yea, you just don’t see girls out here just walking down the street…
If you were in New York and saw a girl walking down the street would you say something to her?
See I don’t know…I’ve never been that dude who hollers at girls on the street, so probably not. I’ll see girls in my neighborhood who I’m like "I’ll see you again to holler at you." The thing about New York is that it gets really incestuous. I try not to deal with girls that are in the scene. I don’t know, I’m just trying to learn new shit from a partner. I don’t want a girl that’s just for show. I don’t want a girl who has a hierarchical place in the scene so it looks like I’m just dating her for that, you know what I mean?
What does your girlfriend do?
She was a dominatrix when we first started dating.
Oh damn, that’s tight. What’s it like dating a dom? Are you into that kind of stuff?
I’m not necessarily. It was hella sexy when she told me about it. My girl dommed and subbed. She would have crazy shit like nipple twisting. She worked in a dungeon. She just recently stopped, but she was doing that for most of our relationship, and it was awesome. She has this thing about pain. She has this endurance thing about pain, and she needs to surpass a threshold. She’s had crazy shit done to her; she’s done crazy shit. It added this other dimension to our relationship, because you would never suspect that from her. She was way doper than any other girl.
Do you think chivalry is dead?
No, I don’t think that chivalry is dead. It’s about romance, but I feel like chivalry also has to do with having your girl’s back. Fighting for your girl, if need be. If you can’t do that as a man, in my eyes, maybe I’m old-fashioned, then how are you going to fight for your family? You know what I’m saying? It starts out like that, fighting for your girl. So no, I don’t think that it’s dead.
It’s a ride or die mentality.
Exactly. It’s funny, I was just thinking whether I do that with my girl. We don’t go on proper dates like we should. She gets on me about it, getting her gifts and stuff.
A little romance never hurt anyone. What was it like being on tour and in a relationship simultaneously, and what do you think the future – touring, traveling more, etc – has in store for you?
No disrespect to my girlfriend or anything, but what’s that Ghostface line, "I fuck fans"? I don’t know. This is what I was telling my friend the other day; being creative, you have to know yourself, and you have to adjust the rules of life, the status quo, to your own operation, to your own self. I’m kind of a nomad a little bit, especially being on tour. I don’t know where I’m going to end up. I was in this city, that city. You have to make certain accommodations and have even more communication with your partner about what’s going on. My girl and I established, or tried to establish, the fact of life that this was going to happen.
Like, a "what happens on tour, stays on tour" type of thing?
Yea, kind of…I’ll tell you the catalyst of everything. I was in Vienna, staying with a friend who has a studio out there, and there was this one night where I was partying, and I met this girl…Vienna has this crazy shit called "super coke"– it’s called cloud 9. Don’t fuck with the super coke…I was out partying, doing this drug, and I meet this girl and took her back to my friend’s studio, and we just had the crazy meth’d out, coke’d out crazy sex. Of course, being on so much speed, I had the crazy come down and started feeling really guilty. Right after the girl left, I tried to get some sleep before I Skype'd my girl and told her everything. It lead to this thing where she admitted that she had broken into my Facebook, and she had seen these conversations I was having with all these different girls…she was looking at the messages telling me how she already knew what I was up to...and she told me that it wasn’t the fact I cheated one random time, but the fact that I was taking the time to try and woo these other girls. It wasn’t the act of cheating, but the fact that I was pursuing girls that pissed her off a lot. That was at the beginning of the tour, and we had established that I wasn’t going to pursue girls anymore, but if a one-night stand kind of thing happened, that was okay. So, that’s how I operated the rest of the tour. Sorry to go off on that tangent.
Don’t be sorry. This is all real shit you’ve been going through. I’m just glad you’re sharing your experiences. At least you found a medium ground. Communication is key in relationships. If you’re open and honest in your relationships, there’s more of a chance of resolving issues. When secrets start forming, the relationship takes a tumble. How do you feel about marriage? Would you ever want to settle down and have kids?
Um…I don’t know if I’m in a place to…I don’t know if I could think about settling down with just one person yet. My dad just passed away. He was married to this lady for years, and she was kind of a bitch to me. It wasn’t the fact that she was a bitch to me that pissed me off; it’s the fact that eventually she cheated on him, and eventually, they separated, and I felt so jipped, because all this time I didn’t get to experience my dad, because she was such a bitch to me, so it was all for nothing.
Oh man, I’m sorry to hear that.
No worries. So, I don’t know. My thoughts on marriage and finalizing something like that with someone...I’m just not in the place to believe in it. It’s interesting because I was talking to my friend the other day about this, and I was telling him about how we maneuver sexually, and our relationships with people are so strategic – like sex is a weapon kind of thing, you know what I mean? And then we started getting into this conversation about being able to love multiple people, and not in the direction of polygamy, but just like having different kinds of love for different girls, you know what I mean?
I definitely think that there are different types and levels of love. You can have love for someone without being in love with them. Is that what you mean?
Yeah, kind of…My friend is also a rapper, and I’m not trying to be stereotypical here, but we were talking about what it’s like having a girl, and then a mistress or a jump-off…It’s real shit!
Oh, so you’re talking about the concept and the breakdown of your main girl holding it down for you at home, your mistress holding it down for you on the road, and the jump-off for purely sexual purposes. I feel like that’s definitely becoming more and more common in this day and age. However, I like to switch it around and think about it from the other point of view. Would you care if your girl had another man to hold it down when you aren't around?
It would be so hypocritical of me to expect that she wouldn’t be talking to someone. This has happened to me! When I was on tour and was cheating, my girlfriend had her shit, too. When I got back to New York we had to talk about all this shit, and it was intense, but I had to man up to my own shit. Who am I to be going off for two, three months and tell my girl she can’t have sex until I come back, you know what I mean? At the end of the day, it was just sex. I feel like I’m just at a place where I’m past being jealous. My girl and I can talk about her wanting to see another guy, on some one-time shit, and I’m more okay with that. If you‘d asked me this two or three years ago with my ex, I wouldn’t have felt the same way.
How long were you with your ex?
Aw man…that was my first relationship, and I was like 24 or 25…she was probably 21. It was such an intense relationship. She was from Turkey, here for school, and wealthy. She had an apartment in Soho that I ended up living with her in. Pretty much, I ended up kind of having a nervous breakdown and had to go to the hospital and all this crazy shit. Not because I was crazy, but I felt like I had no other alternative, so I went to the hospital kind of needing someone to talk to. I asked to talk to someone who could help me get through it, because I couldn’t even think, and they committed me.
I was in there for a month. It was almost like jail. They make you sign your life away when you can’t even think. It’s crazy. Having gone through that whole relationship thing with her and realizing how much I let someone else consume me…I don’t know, it’s a weird feeling.
You were in the hospital before or after you guys broke up?
She had asked to take a break, and this weird shit happened when we were resolving everything and getting back together. I was staying with my friend in New Jersey, and I was working two jobs, and shit was mad stressful for me, because I was trying to show her I could get it together. This one day, I come home from work and decided to call her to see if she was doing anything. Mind you, I didn’t have a phone and was calling from a pay phone. And she picks up and tells me she ran into my roommate on the street and that they’re hanging out. She continues to tell me how much I sound like him on the phone, which had me thrown, and so I head over to go chill with them. I get to her place, and there was liquor, and they’ve been drinking…so I grab a drink and decide not to react and just chill. My girlfriend is giving me the cold shoulder, but laughing at his jokes and almost putting me in competition with him, knowingly, like to make me jealous and see which one of us had more game. At that time, I was a really jealous boyfriend, but I couldn’t react even though I was pissed, because it would just prove her right. Meanwhile, my roommate is throwing all types of g, playing into it. He asks my girl to sleep over, because she had an extra room, and I couldn’t say no, because I didn’t want to look jealous.
The next morning, we all get up, and my roommate asks if he can use my girl’s perfume…I don’t know, the whole thing was weird. The next day, my girl’s on a flight to Philly, and I’m back home after a really shitty day at work, and my roommate is there, happy as fuck, gleaming and starts free-styling and trying to rap-battle me. He starts throwing disses at me and saying stuff like, "that’s why I fucked your girl" etc. – rapping at me like he just stole this status from me. That whole night, I couldn’t even sleep. I was so paranoid thinking that something happened between them. The next morning, I go to get my paycheck, and I couldn’t even think. I would read something and forget what I had read immediately. So, I went to the hospital asking for help, because I had never felt like that before. They had me see a psychologist and committed me. I wasn’t like suicidal or anything. I was just deeply in love with my girl.
Crazy shit can happen when you feel that strongly about someone...especially when you’ve never had those types of feelings before. Did you ever find out if they did anything?
No, they didn’t. But that girl just had me so outside of myself during that entire relationship. She had me thinking I was paranoid for no reason, jealous for no reason. I just didn’t know myself at that point. I lost all my identity and was easily convinced of shit.
Damn, that’s the worst feeling. People are constantly playing games, and it sucks, because you have to be guarded sometimes to protect yourself from the bullshit.
And she knew my background. I came from a broken home…I was one of those kids who dreamed my mom and dad could be together the way I saw on TV. My mom struggled raising me, and she made it very apparent to me that a lot of her troubles came from not having a man around. She would also make me feel like a rotten bastard if I ever acted like how my dad did. All that shit went with me in this relationship, and I feel like she noticed that and kind of manipulated that.
That's a terrible fucking thing for her to do. On a lighter note, how did you lose your virginity?
I lost my virginity to a friend of a friend, who was visiting from Serbia, but she was not a dime piece. It was this one summer, where we were all hanging out being city kids, and this chick was real ratchet or whatever. It was pretty uneventful, but I had sex with her, and then I found out later that she was a slut, and I was so scared that she gave me some shit. Turns out it was all good. I feel like I didn’t really lose my virginity until I had really dope ass sex, which wasn’t until my last girlfriend.
What do you like in bed?
I don’t like it when it’s just one way or it’s just me in control. I like it when there’s this rhythm like we’re making music in bed or something. I don’t know this is kind of a hard one for me…it varies. It’s always the situation, too. I like when girls aren’t prude, and instead, go after what they want. But it has to be in a tasteful way.
Do you keep nudes on your phone?
Yes, of myself!
Do you and your girl sext?
We don’t enough. I mean, we’ve sent each other some shit. My nude selfies are just on some Chris Brown, feeling myself type of thing.
Any final thoughts on sex and relationships?
Our generation is dealing with gender dynamics and traditionalism, as far as relationship roles go, and we have to be willing to redefine these kinds of things for ourselves. We have to face the fact that we might not even be able to own houses for families that we’ll create, and that changes relationship dynamics, because if you can’t get a home with someone or make other necessary steps, it’s hard to keep that relationship evolving. Also, I’m not the only one who feels this way about marriage. The real revolutionary thing right now is to not get married.