PILLOwTALK X MARZ LOVEJOY: IN REAL LIFE
Interview and photos by Shelby Sells
State your name / age / occupation
My name is Marzy Jane aka Marz Lovejoy / I’m almost 23 and a half / I’m a 'life beautification specialist'.
Where are you from?
I’m originally from downtown Minneapolis, Minnesota. That’s where I was born and bread. I spent a majority of my time in San Diego... Going back and forth between San Diego and Twin cities. I went to high school in Los Angeles (samo).
damn girl, movin! That’s what's up. How long have you been in New York for?
On and off for four years.
What do you like about NYC?
The first time I came out here I was 9 and my grandma took me and I fell in love. I literally remember being in Times Square looking up in the street telling my grandma "I’m going to live here". I loved it - the city life, the people, everything. Even though I really do enjoy driving, I like not having to pay for gas or a car (laughs). Until I have a personal driver and my life is set up in a way where I can be way more comfortable I’m so cool with the taxis and the subways and my bike.
I’m low key jealous, all I do in LA is drive around and sit in traffic haha. Tell me a little bit more about what it was like for you growing up.
Moving around can have a negative connotation kind of... But I had stability even though I traveled a lot. Each parent was in a different state, so my time was divided, but it was nice. I would go with my dad all summer and all winter for the holidays and stay with my mom the rest of the time. My parents are cool. As you grow you realize your parents are just people. A lot of folks want their parents to be superheroes or some shit that is really unrealistic and that's unfair.
So true. Then you realize that one day you will be a parent or your friends have kids and you realize your parents were probably just like your friends - silly young folks doing the best they can to raise a family. You can't put outrageous expectations on people when we're all out here trying to figure out our lives each and everyday.
Exactly. Have high expectations but have them be reasonable. Have standards. Don’t settle for anything. Don’t put people on a pedestal that can't follow through... You're just setting them up to fail (laughs). Don’t set people up to fail, like YOU can change that. You control everything you want in life, but you can't control other people's lives. You control how you take it in. if you have an issue you can separate and know what it is.
Haha it's so true though. People expect things around them to change without putting in any real effort themselves! It’s crazy to me. You control your own destiny. You control whether you let the bullshit get to you or not. Harness that power and turn it into something positive and pure. What are some major things that have influenced you to be the woman you are today?
I mean definitely my family. My family for sure... I come from my family. I’ve learned from my family - blood or not. The people that are around me mean the most. I love people (laughs) and as much as I don't love people sometimes, I am a people person. I want people to be happy and I want the best for them. The people around me, my family, are the most influential thing ever.
Surround yourself with good and you get good. Surround yourself with bad and you get bad. No fuck boys and girls.
But you need the fuck people to know how to separate. Those people are going to situate themselves on oil and you're going to have the water side and see what's up for real.
Lmaooo I have dipped into that oil side though ;-) water's where it's at. Trust. How did you originally get into music and acting?
That shit is like another sense... My father comes from music and is a dj... My mother is with it too. I don't know how to not be about it. I love to entertain. Even on a small scale, I like cooking and having people over to my house. Anything where I can be creating something and sharing it with other people... I’m really into that.
Respect. Have you seen your style or flow change at all as you've progressed as an artist? Where do you see yourself going?
I look back and I’m like who was that?? Who is that?! (Laughing) That's what growing up is; realizing those moments where you're just like ohhh okay this is how life is. I’ve seen myself grow a lot. It’s really cool because I’ve always had these visions as a child of where I wanted to be and how I saw myself and making art but I never thought that I could really do it. It was always something I kept to myself and kept a secret and didn't let anyone know because if I even said it or jinxed myself it would have crushed my soul so bad I wouldn't have delved into what I do now and would've been an accountant or some shit (laughs). I never really let people know the shit that I envisioned for myself because I never thought it was real in the first place. When it started happening and everything was falling into place and I’m like wait... This is what confidence is... I thought I had this but I didn't realize I was so self-conscious about creating art before. Once it started happening and other people were being moved by it I started to realize I do have a purpose and a voice and this is how I can express myself. I play with my voice. It's an instrument. Singing and rapping and poetry and screaming and punk and rocking and rolling... Everybody has that. You don't have to make music to use that. I’ve heard conversations where I’m like damn I wish I had that on a record!! You hear people in passing and people are using their voices everyday.
Hell yea. It’s beautiful when you realize your potential and tap into and see how it moves other people. Girl you've BEEN manifesting your life! You definitely keep it 100, do you have any advice on how to keep it real and do the damn thing?
Thank you. I think it starts with you. Don’t lie to yourself because a lot of people lie to themselves and then they believe their own lies and then they start lying to other people and then it just becomes this really fucked up snowball effect. I think the less lies you make the more forward thinking you can be with people. I think that's important. Sometimes you have to lie. I ain't going to lie, sometimes you have to lie (laughing) choose your battles wisely! Don’t lie about some dumb shit because you might not think it means anything but then it starts festering. Keep it one-hundred inside yourself. There are things you can do to help yourself - breathing and meditation and being able to control certain thoughts. Once you can do that the rest is a breeze. You gotta love yourself.
I’m deadddd hahaha. You have to have mind control!! If you let your thoughts or emotions run wild you are fucked. You have to be strong because people prey on weak minds and you don't want to get caught up. Where do you pull your inspiration for you music?
Real life situations and a lot about love and heartbreak and things of that nature.
Do you believe in love? What have your experiences been with love?
From right now, today, I do believe in love and I have a lot of love and I have been in a very deep love and I don't even think I’m out of that love, but it's not unhealthy. I’m not sad about it anymore but I was sad about it for a long time and it affected how I dealt with other people and other relationships. It’s really intense. Let me tell you, what pure love is like... you hear about it in these songs and from people that you know... pure love is a real drug. I was fucking high with this person everyday. To me, right now, from my experience, love has to be evenly exchanged for it to be that pure. It has to be a give and take type of situation because if you take too much or give too much it can still be love, there's different levels, but that pure pure pureness is only exchanged when it's equal for both parties. That love is so gooooood. When it's gone that shit is like send me to rehab (laughing), tried to make me go to rehab and I said no, no, no. I don't even want to fuck wit it. Love will have you off your shits. Love is a motherfucking high that cannot be replicated. You could feel good and want to dance and shit but I’m talking about everyday high for a year or some shit. I believe in it. If you have it don't take advantage of it, even though it's hard because you want it so bad. Then it starts to be so good and you're like is this for real? And then you start fucking with it. Don’t fuck with it. Let love be love because that shit is real. If you fuck with it you're going to lose it. Sometimes you have to do that though... If you have it and you can maintain it more power to you because I haven't gotten those powers yet.
Fuck. Giving it to me straight right now. Love is a drug. It’s a crazy feeling to be addicted to someone's energy like that. Scary even. And you're right, DON'T FUCK WITH IT. Let love do it's thing and run it's course. Once you start nit picking, it's done. Love is beautiful and pure. Hold onto it for as long as you can. What’s one song that always gets you hyped and geeked up?
Well at the moment my song is 'no type', that is my songggg. 'Don’t Play' by Travis Scott and Big Sean is my shit. The Hanson Bros mmmbop, that's always fun. I’m a dancer, so anything that really gets me dancing is what I vibe with. I get the whole side of rap talking about killing and fucking bitches and shit like- that's very punk rock of you rap, but I’m a dancer and I’m a love child straight up. I’ll bring the heat when I need to but I’m with the dancing turn up. I like to feel good most times (laughs) have fun and really go full throttle. That’s what I plan my days around.
Haha yessss I love dancing too it feels so good to let loose. How do you maintain your posi vibes?
I love 'posi' first of all (laughs). It’s like a culture. You just can't let the shit get to you and it's hard because there are so many more outlets for information and bullshit to reach us in our generation. Girl, I am blessed and I manifest my own destiny and I believe it. Yesterday was a kind of reinforcement for me. Dots kept connecting my whole day. It happens to everyone, you just have to know how to realize it. Once you know how to realize the positive shit and how everything is really aligned for you then you can really kind of delve deeper and hone in on the crafts and keep things going good for you. And when you're sad, just sit with your sadness. You gotta let shit go. My mother is very very positive like one of the most loving people on some weird shit. I swear she's an angel. Having someone like that to show me through life has really helped me out. A lot of people just like to say stuff and not really mean it. Everything I say I mean and everything I say I do.
You live your word, which is rare.
And I’m still working on it too. I’m really bad at being on time (laughs). I want to be on time!! And then I end up not being on time and I get so mad. You gotta let shit go. You can't let this shit slow you up b.
Nahhh never. Can’t hold me down ;-) I think you’re a really strong, empowering female role model – what is it like to play this part? Does it come naturally through your creative process?
First off, thank you for saying that and even just being here with you means a lot to me because I think women should be talking more and getting together more – not to get dressed up and go out but even just getting dressed up to go chill at the house and talk about what’s going on and start doings things. I recognize that. I think that’s why if I’m ever cautious of the way I move it’s because of that – because young girls specifically are so important to my whole being and my whole reason for wanting to use my voice as an instrument. I want to get in touch with the young women of the world and get them in touch with each other. I think it’s important because we’re in warrior stance right now and there’s a lot of masculine energy. Even women are having a masculine attitude towards their work. I have to ask myself sometimes, who am I doing this for? Am I really being true to my feminine character? The masculine influence is so strong right now that we find ourselves submitting to that. I think everyone needs to be more feminine now, even men. Get in touch with it. It will make you better, it just will. I’m so into it. I love being a woman. I would not trade it, I just wouldn’t (giggles). Maybe that sounds naïve of me, but I know we’re life. We give life daily. Women are so special and I think a lot of times they want to hold us down, but you have to know your worth and how special you are. Nobody could do it without us. This is not a male bashing. I am so for my men – strong men who are aware of how special women are. This is for my women, you have so much power in you and sometimes you can’t even see it. That’s the fucked up part. It’s like you have to look to get it, but you have it!! Sisterhood is important to me. That’s why I’m happy you are here in my home and you can be who you are here because you’re supposed to be here right now.
Thank you again for having us. I think what you just talked about was really beautiful. Women are very rare and special creatures. We are so full of love and power and I think, like you said; if we focus our energies while staying true to ourselves we can really accomplish some big things!! I’m so ready. how do you stay on your grind?
(Laughs) well, I put my leg up (laughs) I don’t even know where I was going with that (laughing). It’s hard to stay on your grind, I mean for me anyways… I respect those motherfuckers who just like hustle everyday, that is what I strive to be. I love that shit. I don’t always have that. It’s hard, but you know what? When you ain’t got shit it’s way easier (laughing) I’ll tell you that much because I’ve been there. Then when you get comfortable it gets a little harder. I’m not saying I’m comfortable… A lot of it is fun too and it is a grind and maybe I should start looking at it like that (laughs) but I don’t know… That’s a good question. I should think about it. I’m going to think about that one because I need to get it together. I need a more stable income. If grinding equals money then I need a little more. I’m not mad at the whole process.
If grinding was easy, everyone would be stacking paper haha. It’s hard when you control your own income and you are an artist. You have to constantly stay inspired and keep coming out with new things. Low key, it’s exhausting but well worth the pay-off. What’s next for you?
Today? (Laughs) I’m going to make some food later… I’m going to make some carne asada or something. I’m going back home to Minnesota soon. I hate it but I love it too. I have a lot of people who I love out there, but I can’t stay for too long. My brother is getting out of jail and I’m super stoked. I’m ready because I just came back from Africa and I’m still in Africa and when I go to Minnesota it will be like my landing and getting back into it. I’m really happy about that. So that’s next… Like I said, music will be with me forever so I’m not really concerned about it, but I know people want to hear it so I’m really excited about letting them hear it and being critiqued because that’s part of the process, too. And acting, I love that shit. Being around actors – talk about being on your grind – they breathe and do this shit in a totally different way that I’m not used to. I’m so into it because I want to be that good. It’s a fun challenge. I love expressing myself through acting.
Mmm Asada… congrats on your trips and your brother getting out that’s really exciting what kind of acting do you do?
I take classes on the Meisner technique, which I really love. Meisner technique is basically where you’re acting the truth – being in that moment, at that time, and feeling those feelings. The reason for bad acting is because people aren’t getting anything from each other. There’s no connection. You know when there’s a connection with anything, so that’s what Meisner really focuses on. There’s a lot of repetition, but if you have a really great professor it’s so much more than acting, so that’s really exciting. As far as what I’ve done with acting, a movie I was in called ‘Kid Cannabis’ (it’s on Netflix) that came out this year (2014) on 4/20 and then there’s another one I was in called ‘Luv’ with Common and Danny Glover that came out in 2012 and I was able to go to Sundance with that. That was really cool. That’s it as far as my little cameo folder goes, but I hope to get more because there’s a lot of actors who would like to be working. I feel blessed to even have those smaller roles. It could’ve not been me; you know what I’m saying? (Laughs).
Wow that’s amazing!! Get your life baby girl. Do you have any last words / final thoughts on the topics we’ve been discussing today?
Thanks for having me. I just want to say love yourself and have safe sex. I’ll always advocate for condoms and birth control, but even safe in the sense where if you are in a committed relationship still be safe about it. Get checked. Know your partner if it’s like that. If it’s not like that then put a motherfucking condom on that shit and keep it moving. Love yourself. You think you have some fucked up things going on but there are people out there who are going through it ten times worse than you. It’s hard to realize that in the moment, but if you can at least get that thought into your mind it will help you because you have to understand you’re going through bad times for a reason and there is light at the end of the tunnel. Just like miss Shelby Sells said, you aren’t alone and there are people who care about you. We’re right here really putting in the work and talking to people and reaching out to them - if you’re that person, holla (laughs). Thank you again I appreciate it. Girl Power.